standstill

since i started preparing for this new school year a month ago, wedding plans have come to a standstill. i spent most of the summer researching the internet for ideas and resources, and definitely came up with some really creative ways to make our wedding special. now that things have gotten busier for me, i haven't accomplished as much as i would have hoped to have accomplished at this point in the whole process.

luckily, i have the help of a wedding planner and friend, good ol' francia. during her visit to the bay, we were able to spend almost one whole day driving around sf on wedding-related errands. we took a visit to the reception venue and scoped out the area for decoration ideas and logistics. i actually started to visualize what it may look like on that day! we also went to the church and realized that the parking situation may present some problems -- mainly, there is no parking lot next to the church. my guests will have to park at the garage on the corner (unless by some miracle a metered spot opens up) and walk across to the church. it's not a far walk at all, and the church is visible if you're at the parking lot. i just hope people don't get confused. because if i was a guest coming to my wedding, i think i would get lost. then again, i get lost driving home from work sometimes.

after visiting the church and reception venues, we ran around searching for paper for my invites. we come up with an invitation suite and its color scheme! and, fabulous francia even put together a mock invite and sent it to me a few days ago. seeing our names on that paper was sort of a trip. anyway, we have a general idea now of how the invitations are going to look.

here's my list of to-do's for the next month or so...

• create and put together our STD's
• finalize our videographer
• contact our band (we're in negotiations right now. not even sure we'll have them.)
• find a DJ
• ask a few more close friends to be a part of our ceremony
• contact our new catering manager at the hotel to introduce myself and ask more questions(we're really sad about this! :( our previous catering manager was moved to the long beach hyatt. and she was one of the reasons we chose that hotel!)
• decide whether or not we will be using a florist
• make plans to order barongs
• look for bridesmaids dresses
• find a dress

the last one i'm not so excited about. in fact, i'm not really looking forward to it. i've been to two dress shops so far and have had pretty good experiences. why so hesitent now, you may ask? i think it's because i'm not comfortable with the way i physically look in any wedding dress at this time. i'm planning on losing weight before the big day, and people keep telling me just to try on dresses and just have them take it in later. that's probably what i'm going to end up doing. however, i just feel as though i dislike every dress i try on because of my body size. oh well, we'll just have to see.

by the way, is it too soon to be thinking about the bachelorette party? my girlfriends keep asking me what i want to do and i get so excited thinking about it! vegas, anyone?!

a couple weeks ago at happy hour with the faculty at my school, one of my coworkers asked me what i'm most looking forward when it comes or our wedding and our married life. to the first question my answer was our ceremony. as much as i am looking forward to having a smashing reception, nothing excites me more than thinking about saying our vows before God and our family and friends. as for what i'm looking forward to most about married life, it is definitely having a family. i simply cannot wait!

oh, photographer update: we've booked with the very talented caroline tran! she's the one that took the pics in my previous post. david and i met with her last month when they were here shooting a wedding in napa. see, she's located in socal so we'll have to fly her up for our wedding day. but, we're taking engagement photos in socal. we got such a good vibe from her and could tell right away that we would get along. she is also a uci alumnus and so we know so many people in common! how cool is that?

and the best news of all...i asked father pat to celebrate our wedding and he said...MAYBE! :D he didn't say "no", he said "MAYBE"! i was 99% expected him to say no right off the bat, but everyone was encouraging us to just ask him and see what happens. i'm so glad i did.

big decisions

since our first option was out of the question, david and i embarked on a search for another church for our wedding ceremony. yes, i am fully aware that as catholics we are not supposed to search for churches for our wedding day, but given that we know we are going to have lots of guests from out-of-town, we thought it would be nice to have get married in a church that had historical significance to san francisco. about a week-and-a-half ago we made an appoint with the secretary and put our names down to get married at st. patrick's catholic church in the city.



the excerpt at the bottom of their bulletin reads,

St. Patrick's is uniquely a sign of God's loving presence. It was here when the miners left for the gold county, it served the Irish immigrants, withstood the great fire and earthquake of 1906, continued to serve the Irish, then the Spanish-speaking, now the Filipino community, the numerous tourists and conventioneers and always the business world by which it is surrounded. Now it exists in a neighborhood undergoing redevelopment. Unchanged in the midst of change, it still repeats for all the message of Him who is the resurrection and the life.

my aunt and uncle were married in this church over 15 years ago as well, so it does have some family significance. we're ecstatic that we've already booked a date for our wedding, which still seems so far off from now. everyone keeps saying that it'll go by fast, but i'm not so sure about that.

as for our reception venue, we did do a bit of researching for that. there are so many awesome places to have a reception in the bay area -- hotels are in abundance, outdoor weddings by the beach are definitely doable, and receptions in the wine country are quite common. price wise, your options may be limited if you are on a strict budget. after looking around and making a few quick decisions, we've narrowed it down to Hotel Sofitel in Redwood City. this hotel is outside of SF, but still accessible and fitting to our needs. my cousin, stephanie, had her 18th birthday there and i worked closely with their event coordinator, who is willing to give me a good deal for the reception.



i've had dreams about having my reception here, here, here, and here. but, alas, our nurse-teacher budget does not allow for those kinds of lavish environments. a girl can dream, right?

a perfect proposal

i was recently watching a tv show where a man enlisted the help of a company that helps prepare the perfect proposal -- everything from the location, set-up, props, and help from "extras" needed to pull it off are arranged for you -- for a small fee, of course. youtube even hosted marriage-proposal contests this past valentine's day, and offered winners wedding-related packages and prizes.

so what makes up the perfect proposal? is it the creativity that wins one over? the size of the rock, the corny-ness, the romantic ambiance?

or, is it the man? i'd say it was the latter.

* * *

it was the day of my birthday, and i had woken up with a hangover. yes, a hangover. the night before, david, pj, my girlfriends, and i went to club icon in the city to celebrate me turning 26. certain circumstances would turn the night into a disaster. there were fights (verbal & nonverbal) and tears. we got kicked out of the club and locked out of my friends loft. i was crying in the cold while david chilled in the car with my friend's boyfriend, both laughing at how emotional my friends and me became when we were a little tipsy. little did i know that the actual day of my birthday would turn out to be so special.

we discussed going to church together, and david suggests that we attend mass at st. ignatius church in the city. we often went there to pray together during our school days at usf, and it was a special church to both of us. it is probably the most beautiful church i've ever been to. i told him that i needed to tell my parents so that they could go with us. he seemed hesitant to invite them, but i didn't think anything of it. david said that there was a 2pm mass that sunday, which caused me to think twice (whoever heard of a 2pm sunday mass?!). again, i didn't think anything of it. my parents ended up refusing, saying that they would not be ready in time and would just go to mass later that evening.

we headed over to the church and went inside. i was ahead of david, and i noticed right away that the church was empty. i turned to david and annoyingly asked him if he checked the mass schedule. he replied that he had, and that he knew there wasn't going to be mass -- he just wanted to spend some alone time with me for my birthday. this was not out-of-the-ordinary for david, and i thought it was a really thoughtful birthday "gift." he took my hand and led me to the open side chapel, mother mary's chapel, and we knelt down to pray.

after a while, i began to feel dizzy. (remember, i still had a hangover) i told david that i was going to sit down, and after looking a bit confused he agreed and we both sat down in the chairs in front of the altar. sometime in between our arrival and the moment he proposed, the thought of him proposing that day had quickly crossed my mind. i dismissed the thought, because he had convinced me that we would not be able to get engaged until the end of 2007 for financial reasons. we continued to sit together, with him silently thinking/praying and me falling in and out of sleep. finally, he motioned me back to the altar to kneel down.

he said lots of kind things to me (ask me directly if you want details! :D), and at this point i knew in my heart what he was going to ask, but i didn't allow myself to confirm the thoughts yet so that i wouldn't be disappointed if he didn't pop the question. finally, he said, "our relationship began in the church, and i want it to continue in the church. will you marry me?" he was holding out the ring in a red heart box and crying by this point, and i was so taken aback that i hugged him and forgot to give him an answer. he had to pull me away from him and ask again, "will you accept this ring?" i held out my hand, and i don't think i ever verbally said, "yes!" i think the nonverbal gesture of holding out my hand sufficed.

i asked him if he told my family, and he said "why don't you tell them yourself. they're right behind us." i turned around and saw my brother sitting far away in the pews behind us. (later my brother would tell us that he saw us turn around and wasn't sure if david had proposed yet, so he froze and thought to himself that if he didn't move, maybe we wouldn't notice him. but, have you seen my brother lately?) my parents and grandpa were further behind, and my sister popped out slowly from behind one of the columns and was holding a video camera. (she only caught the very end because she had forgotten the memory stick and had to run to the car to get it.)

we celebrated that evening with mass and dinner at chevy's (classy, i know!). all in all, it truly was the perfect proposal. but it wasn't the church, or david's words, or even my family being present. you could take all of that away, and just have david and i together anywhere, and it would have been perfect, because what we share together constitutes more than the grandeur of any marriage proposal. it's about the love, and without that we have nothing.

david and me, kneeling in front of mother mary.
(taken by my brother, pretending to be a statue.)

newly engaged!
(you can't see my ring clearly, but it's crooked because the size was too big!)

a new addition to the haw-clan.
(this is right after my mom gave the "we're not losing a daughter but gaining a son" speech and when my brother told my dad, "it's ok. you still have nathalie.")

if i would have known i was going to be the future mrs. v on that day, i would have definitely picked a better outfit and combed my hair. oh well, here's to the "natural" look! isn't the church beautiful? you can see a little bit of it in the pictures, but if you're ever in town we'll definitely take you there. it's so pretty. david and i really, really wanted to have our ceremony there. the church is open to marriages where at least one member of the couple is a usf alumnus or an employee of the school, or a registered parishioner, so we would fit the bill. however, the church does NOT allow you to have your own choir/singer(s). we were willing to pay the $2K+ in ceremony fees, and forgo flowers so as to abide by their rules, but we just couldn't get past the music thing. that's something we just couldn't compromise on.

boy this is a long post. coming up: the double d's new ceremony site and proposed reception venues!