a perfect proposal

i was recently watching a tv show where a man enlisted the help of a company that helps prepare the perfect proposal -- everything from the location, set-up, props, and help from "extras" needed to pull it off are arranged for you -- for a small fee, of course. youtube even hosted marriage-proposal contests this past valentine's day, and offered winners wedding-related packages and prizes.

so what makes up the perfect proposal? is it the creativity that wins one over? the size of the rock, the corny-ness, the romantic ambiance?

or, is it the man? i'd say it was the latter.

* * *

it was the day of my birthday, and i had woken up with a hangover. yes, a hangover. the night before, david, pj, my girlfriends, and i went to club icon in the city to celebrate me turning 26. certain circumstances would turn the night into a disaster. there were fights (verbal & nonverbal) and tears. we got kicked out of the club and locked out of my friends loft. i was crying in the cold while david chilled in the car with my friend's boyfriend, both laughing at how emotional my friends and me became when we were a little tipsy. little did i know that the actual day of my birthday would turn out to be so special.

we discussed going to church together, and david suggests that we attend mass at st. ignatius church in the city. we often went there to pray together during our school days at usf, and it was a special church to both of us. it is probably the most beautiful church i've ever been to. i told him that i needed to tell my parents so that they could go with us. he seemed hesitant to invite them, but i didn't think anything of it. david said that there was a 2pm mass that sunday, which caused me to think twice (whoever heard of a 2pm sunday mass?!). again, i didn't think anything of it. my parents ended up refusing, saying that they would not be ready in time and would just go to mass later that evening.

we headed over to the church and went inside. i was ahead of david, and i noticed right away that the church was empty. i turned to david and annoyingly asked him if he checked the mass schedule. he replied that he had, and that he knew there wasn't going to be mass -- he just wanted to spend some alone time with me for my birthday. this was not out-of-the-ordinary for david, and i thought it was a really thoughtful birthday "gift." he took my hand and led me to the open side chapel, mother mary's chapel, and we knelt down to pray.

after a while, i began to feel dizzy. (remember, i still had a hangover) i told david that i was going to sit down, and after looking a bit confused he agreed and we both sat down in the chairs in front of the altar. sometime in between our arrival and the moment he proposed, the thought of him proposing that day had quickly crossed my mind. i dismissed the thought, because he had convinced me that we would not be able to get engaged until the end of 2007 for financial reasons. we continued to sit together, with him silently thinking/praying and me falling in and out of sleep. finally, he motioned me back to the altar to kneel down.

he said lots of kind things to me (ask me directly if you want details! :D), and at this point i knew in my heart what he was going to ask, but i didn't allow myself to confirm the thoughts yet so that i wouldn't be disappointed if he didn't pop the question. finally, he said, "our relationship began in the church, and i want it to continue in the church. will you marry me?" he was holding out the ring in a red heart box and crying by this point, and i was so taken aback that i hugged him and forgot to give him an answer. he had to pull me away from him and ask again, "will you accept this ring?" i held out my hand, and i don't think i ever verbally said, "yes!" i think the nonverbal gesture of holding out my hand sufficed.

i asked him if he told my family, and he said "why don't you tell them yourself. they're right behind us." i turned around and saw my brother sitting far away in the pews behind us. (later my brother would tell us that he saw us turn around and wasn't sure if david had proposed yet, so he froze and thought to himself that if he didn't move, maybe we wouldn't notice him. but, have you seen my brother lately?) my parents and grandpa were further behind, and my sister popped out slowly from behind one of the columns and was holding a video camera. (she only caught the very end because she had forgotten the memory stick and had to run to the car to get it.)

we celebrated that evening with mass and dinner at chevy's (classy, i know!). all in all, it truly was the perfect proposal. but it wasn't the church, or david's words, or even my family being present. you could take all of that away, and just have david and i together anywhere, and it would have been perfect, because what we share together constitutes more than the grandeur of any marriage proposal. it's about the love, and without that we have nothing.

david and me, kneeling in front of mother mary.
(taken by my brother, pretending to be a statue.)

newly engaged!
(you can't see my ring clearly, but it's crooked because the size was too big!)

a new addition to the haw-clan.
(this is right after my mom gave the "we're not losing a daughter but gaining a son" speech and when my brother told my dad, "it's ok. you still have nathalie.")

if i would have known i was going to be the future mrs. v on that day, i would have definitely picked a better outfit and combed my hair. oh well, here's to the "natural" look! isn't the church beautiful? you can see a little bit of it in the pictures, but if you're ever in town we'll definitely take you there. it's so pretty. david and i really, really wanted to have our ceremony there. the church is open to marriages where at least one member of the couple is a usf alumnus or an employee of the school, or a registered parishioner, so we would fit the bill. however, the church does NOT allow you to have your own choir/singer(s). we were willing to pay the $2K+ in ceremony fees, and forgo flowers so as to abide by their rules, but we just couldn't get past the music thing. that's something we just couldn't compromise on.

boy this is a long post. coming up: the double d's new ceremony site and proposed reception venues!